We have all heard the stories of unsupportive spouses. I will be straight up honest, I am dealing with one right now.
I recently have found an amazing vision for my business but in order to put that vision into action (which in turn will produce better financial stability for my family) I need to put in the hours – most likely quite a few of them getting my lead capture pages, shopping carts and email series laid out.
Yes, in this past week I am spending more time than usual typing away. But on a normal week I have a pretty set schedule of working while our son is in school then just doing periodic check-ins as needed evenings and weekends.
No I could go on to tell you how to resolve conflicts but I want to address something. I want you to take a good solid look at our relationship with your spouse. Then ask yourself why are they so opposed to you becoming successful and bettering your family financially.
For our family this is a no brainer for me. He is unemployed, has ZERO income, and I am the only source of security our family has when it comes to money. To me that triggers me to work harder to make sure that we are not struggling, that we can pay the bills and buy clothes when we need them and put put on the table.
Just like any other job if you do not work you do not get paid.
I have read numerous articles about how to “deal with an unsupportive spouse” most of which will tell you to step away from your grand ideas of what your business could be.
Those articles are fine for what they are worth but the real fact of the matter is that if you have a vision, a clear cut path that could improve your family’s situation – GO FOR IT with everything you have inside of you and make it a reality.
For me, no matter how much I show my husband what can happen if I get this done he does nothing but complain about the time I spent working on my computer. It does not matter what time of day it it – today he started an argument with over my morning coffee! This time each day I spend preparing my social media for the upcoming week.
For us the issue is much deeper of a conflict than just “you work too much”. The issue is that only one person is making an effort while the other is doing nothing to better the situation.
He complains now. He used to complain when the bills were not paid and we lost our tv or cell phone service for a few days – which now never happens because I make enough to pay all of our bills in full each month with my Beachbody income.
Me being me – I pointed this out to him today that he is yelling at me for working but when he cant watch tv or use his cell phone he used to yell ay me for that as well. You can’t have it both ways, and to me if you not helping solve the problems (aka get a paying job or start a business that has an income) then you need to let the person keeping your family afloat do their thing.
But I also want more than to just pay the bills. I want to have money in a savings account. I want to have cars that do not break down once a month. I want to be able to go buys nice clothes or go have dinner at our favorite restaurants any time we want.
I do not mean to sound materialistic. I simply never want to struggle again. I did it for many years and I have said “this will not continue to be my life” and I have gone for it and continue to grow my business to give my family security and nice things.
The saying from Dave Ramsey comes to mind:
If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.
At some point we will hit a crossroads – because I know my business is becoming more successful which each passing week. The crossroads will be how much of the rewards should he reap when we get to that point if he cannot be supportive during the process.
That now remains the question that is yet to be answered for me.
Conflicts happens. I get that. Especially for us with our history. But I know one thing – through all of those struggles I know what my vision is for my life and I will not allow anyone, my husband included, to cause me to fail. If nothing else this gives me even more drive to become wildly successful!
So tell me in the comments – how would you deal with a spouse who is throwing up such big walls for you to deal? Do you give up your dreams or press harder?
In the end the only person who determines your level of success is YOU!
My name is Sue and I am an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, Ketogenic Living Specialist and Amare Global Wellness Partner. Coaching others is my passion. I want to be the change and help others take back control of their health and happiness!